The admission that you go to Trevelyan College has been announced as officially the most tragic phrase you could possibly say, DuzFeed can reveal.
Beating out close competitors of ‘yeah my Dad left when I was five’ and ‘yeah they were cheating on me all along’ the absolutely gut-wrenchingly tragic phrase was found to garner far more pity and sympathy than almost anything else that you could say to a person.
Ollie, an orphan who lost both his parents in a freak accident when he was young, and who has recently been diagnosed with a terminal illness after finding out that his surviving family stole his inheritance and that his brother was sleeping with his girlfriend said to us: ‘Yeah I mean I tell people about that awful things that have happened to me, and I get the usual pitying looks and comforting words…but then I tell them I go to Trevs, and a wholly different look of tragic sympathy comes across their face. It’s hard to watch. But Trevs is that fucking tragic I guess’
Addressing the potential problem, Quentin from Kent said: ‘no, I certainly won’t let my new living situation effect the way I both view and interact with others around me, or mean I develop a misplaced sense of deserving self-righteousness and superiority. I understand the fact that my being given a Castle room was completely random and that I’m immensely privileged to live in such a beautiful and historic sett….bahahahahaha! sike! Of course I’m going to let it got to my head! I went to bloody [redacted] and now I literally live in a fucking castle like the King of fucking the North! Can you believe this shit?! If only the servery staff were as good as the staff at home, this whole deal would be pretty bloody perfect. Now fuck off I’ve got state school kids to bully’ 
